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[personal profile] fangirl_says
I've recently started watching Sherlock...

And to be honest, I'm sure I have nothing to add to the conversation that has not already been said better than I could manage. Except, possibly, for this: I wish I did not know that Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington were partners for 15 years, have two children together and broke up in the past year, before the current series was filmed. It just makes me sad, particularly watching the first two episodes and being unable to not imagine how difficult it must have been to film them. Because no matter how civilized and mutual and amicable a breakup is, no matter how adult the parties are or how committed they both are to being friends and raising their children lovingly and together -- a breakup still hurts, because something that used to be, something that you once wanted and needed and treasured, has gone.

So, I'm watching Mary tell John, "You gave me everything I could have ever, ever wanted," and "you were my whole world," and seeing John react as though she's just punched him in the gut... And I have to wonder (because I'm ridiculous that way) how much of the pain in those emotionally-charged scenes was informed by the pain of their rl breakup. And then I start to over-analyze everything (because I'm ridiculous that way, too) and try to suss out who was the first of the two to say, 'we are over.' I know, I know, that they both say it was mutual, but I've personally never been around a breakup in which both parties simultaneously decided to end it. It was someone's idea, and though the other may have immediately agreed, they were still on some level surprised, because they were still there. They weren't leaving or telling the other to leave. I just don't see that it could ever be completely mutual.

Bah. So, while it makes the emotional scenes even a bit more bittersweet, it also tends to draw me out of the scene, makes me stop seeing characters and start seeing actors. And, yes, I get that these are two talented, professional actors, but I feel like actors must draw on their own experiences and emotions in their work. I mean, how could you film these scenes and NOT do that?

And I'm off to bake cupcakes. :)


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