(no subject)

I have a side blog on Tumblr that I've used for non-fandom blogging; mostly mental health, coming to terms with my bisexuality, and relationship abuse issues. It's been a useful thing for me to have somewhere to record things as they happen, because my default response is that after a few days, I start to believe that I somehow caused whatever happened, or that maybe my spouse is right and I somehow imagined everything. It helps to reassure myself that I'm not simply mentally ill (in this way, anyway.) And tbh, I have absolutely no one irl that I can talk to about these things. It's a terribly lonely thing to have all of these thoughts and feelings and experiences and never be able to express them in any way. It also feeds into my own self-doubt when I have only my own thoughts on things.

At any rate, there are things I want to record for my own reference. On Tumblr, a few people followed that blog, and I think it's possible that some others might want to, if they're experiencing something similar or they're just curious or they want to understand why people sometimes stay in abusive relationships (so far...). I'd rather not post to this account, because I know it can be awkward to be presented with these things when you're minding your own business, chugging along looking for some fun/interesting convo on fandomness, maybe just wanting distraction from stress or negativity or what have you. I do get that. And I don't want to alienate people by smacking them in the face with my gaslighting/abuse experiences when they're innocently looking for fanfic recs. ;D

Is it even possible to create a secondary journal here on DW, though? I guess that's the first question I really need to ask. I need to do some more digging around and find out how that works here.

(no subject)

Welp, I just bit the bullet and bought paid time on DW. I don't necessarily need a gazillion icon spots at this point, but I believe in supporting financially (whenever possible) the services that provide me happiness and/or peace of mind (e.g., AO3). DW, thus far, appears to be a welcoming space for me and people like me. In light of *ahem* certain other services that shall remain nameless *ahem* making it clear they don't want us, I'm grateful to have a place that does.

Please don't ever make me sorry for supporting you, DW!

(no subject)

So here Iam, waiting for my cardiac stress test (which was rescheduled from a couple of weeks ago) and they tell me it’s gonna be awhile because they’re having some problems in the back and I’m kinda nervous anyway, but I say okay and then I see through the office wi does that an ambulance has just arrived and I realize that the person ahead of me has collapsed during their test or had an MI or something, and now I’m really, REALLY nervous.