(no subject)

[fangirl_says]

I have a side blog on Tumblr that I've used for non-fandom blogging; mostly mental health, coming to terms with my bisexuality, and relationship abuse issues. It's been a useful thing for me to have somewhere to record things as they happen, because my default response is that after a few days, I start to believe that I somehow caused whatever happened, or that maybe my spouse is right and I somehow imagined everything. It helps to reassure myself that I'm not simply mentally ill (in this way, anyway.) And tbh, I have absolutely no one irl that I can talk to about these things. It's a terribly lonely thing to have all of these thoughts and feelings and experiences and never be able to express them in any way. It also feeds into my own self-doubt when I have only my own thoughts on things.

At any rate, there are things I want to record for my own reference. On Tumblr, a few people followed that blog, and I think it's possible that some others might want to, if they're experiencing something similar or they're just curious or they want to understand why people sometimes stay in abusive relationships (so far...). I'd rather not post to this account, because I know it can be awkward to be presented with these things when you're minding your own business, chugging along looking for some fun/interesting convo on fandomness, maybe just wanting distraction from stress or negativity or what have you. I do get that. And I don't want to alienate people by smacking them in the face with my gaslighting/abuse experiences when they're innocently looking for fanfic recs. ;D

Is it even possible to create a secondary journal here on DW, though? I guess that's the first question I really need to ask. I need to do some more digging around and find out how that works here.

Comments

[bronzemax]

It is definitely possible to create secondary journals. back when I used DW in the old days, I had about 15 different ones, haha. I don't think you even need a separate email. ^_^

That sounds like a really nice thing to continue doing. Having sideblogs for things like that is very helpful.

[fangirl_says]

Ooh, very cool that I don't even need a separate email! I hadn't even thought that far, haha. Thanks for letting me know about that. :D

[bronzemax]

Sure thing!

There's also a chrome extension called LJ Account Juggler that, while I haven't used it in years and can't vouch for its maintenance over the years, at least used to allow you to rapid-switch accounts by storing the usernames and passwords for you and making logging in and out of different ones a one-click affair. :3

[fangirl_says]

Oh, man, thank you! I just added Account Juggler and it looks great!

[bronzemax]

Yeah, cheers! :D

[tei]

I think the most common thing here is to create a filter, if ghere’s Content that you only want a subset of your subscribers to see! Once you’ve done that, you can make that filter opt-in, and only the people who specifically opt in to that content, and you add to the filter, will see it. (I’ve never actually done this so I can’t give more specific instructions than that, but I know it’s possible!)

Sorry, you’re dealing with that, and good for you for writing about it— it sounds like a very good thing to have a space to talk about it!

Edit: I think you do it from here : https://www.dreamwidth.org/manage/circle/editfilters

[fangirl_says]

I've been thinking in terms of a filter, though as long as my DW stays separate from my rl/work life, I don't think I'd care much about keeping some people from reading these posts. I dunno; maybe I should care more? Though I definitely don't want to end up triggering someone with any of my posts, so maybe a filter would be a good idea anyway. Thanks for the link!

[sarahthecoat]

Another option i've seen people use, is to put it all behind a "read more" type cut, so people can decide if they want to see it.
I'm so sorry you have to go through that, it took me a long time to call it quits too, and the isolation was one of the tip offs that i should.

[fangirl_says]

I'm sort of leaning towards using read-more cuts, though then I'd want to be really careful that I don't mess that up and end up with content outside a cut that might be upsetting or triggering to someone, you know?

Thank you. Some days I think, 'that's it, that's the last time I'm ever going to have that happen to me; I'm going to do something about it now.' And then...well, you know.

[sarahthecoat]

I do know! But hiding from it never worked somehow. The isolation made me believe I was alone, when in fact as soon as my sister knew what was going on, she closed ranks with me instantly, "he can't do that to you!!" and right away I knew I could make it. It took years, but I got free. And I found out how many of my friends DID see it happening, and were eager to help me once I was ready.
You're the only one who can decide when that time is, but you can get ready for that time by breaking the silence and isolation and finding people to talk to about it, finding out what resources are available to you. Keep safe, you are not as alone as he wants you to think, and you are STRONG.

[vulgarweed]

Seconding what the other people here have said about ways to do this on DW. One option I see used a lot is making a custom filter with people who have opted-in. You make a post asking if followers want to be on your personal-life/personal-issues filter, give people a few days to respond, and just add the people who said yes to that filter. People who said nothing won't be able to see your posts on the subject, that you marked for that filter, though they will see all the others. You can always add or subtract people later.

Edit: Oh wait, I basically just repeated exactly what Tei said.

I am so sorry you're going through this. Especially if gaslighting and being made to doubt your own feelings and experiences is a factor, it's really important to have people who can help you with reality checks.

[fangirl_says]

Thank you for saying that. And that's exactly what I want -- reality checks. :)

[write_out]

I was going to suggest filters too, but see I'm not the first. I've used them in the past with success and have considered creating ones for DW to give people the ability to opt out of my non-fandom posts. I hope you find an option that works best for you!

I too am sorry for what you're dealing with and I hope that this can be a good place for you to share what you need to.

[fangirl_says]

Thank you for saying that. It does look like filters may be the best way to go. And I actually hadn't thought about having people opt out of the filter rather than opting into it...I'll have to give that some more thought.